this is garys birthday weekend. he is double nickle, isnt that grand? he has not had a great birthday but it was not bad. alot of things i suggested he did not want to do, many things we could not do cuz of time constraints and or money.
the truck is now officially his. that deal worked out really well. that truck was bigger than i wanted. i would have been spending too much to keep fuel in it, now its his problem. since dave pays him mileage, it probably works better for him than it does me.
yesterday was pretty good. we got up and went and submitted our pictures for the county fair. i am proud that we made a pact we would do it and we did. if you seen all the things that need to be done around my house you would understand this was an accomplishment
gary found over 10 of his pictures he felt confident enough about to submit. i struggled over the contents of my own portfolio for days and hours and finally choose three, that i wanted to share. i dont know why iam that way. i will look forwrd to things like parites or special meetings with people then when the time comes i dont want to do, i get anxious and if allowed i will back out of it. i have tried taking that issue straight on but in the past had been slapped back, so i dont take things had on like that very often anymore.
given time all things do come to an end
i really got a rush out of entering our pictures in the contest though. i have noticed it is hard for me to feel creative when gary is aound. mostly cuz he tries so hard to help me and i am so bloody hard headed. generaly i just dont want o listen tohim. i want the advise, though. he is so smart about cameras and settings and stuff. it is like my grandmother said about me. i would cut off y nose to spite my own face and it is true
but nonethe less, i got a rush out of it gary did not pick up on this nor did he join into it. he was nervous and had difficulty setting up his pictures. i chatted on with ed and eddie like old friends now in the theme of my life, they will remember it as being gary that did. i dont know why but most people now days dont see me, they see others around me, i am like a spook. or maybe i am becoming like my mom and things dont really happen the way i think
none the less this is my story and i am telling it as i see it
one of the first things ed did when he saw my vintage rose was ask to pick it up and look at it closer. i believe he even commented this is really pretty. my vintage rose is unique at this time. i did not copy it from someone it is my original, but i believe it will be copied if the people that copy it do a better job, thats ok cuz each of us see something different. the nice thing is no one had time to see it and reproduce it in time for the contest. it is the best of my three.
i told eddie that i really wanted to drop in his class the other day. he told me his class is always open to former students. i was thrilled. i would love to see what this class is putting out. that was one of my favorite componets of the class we were in was looking at others pictures. i only ever felt one lady came close to me, and that had been on a week that i did no submissions cuz i had to go out of state on a business trip and had been more concentrated on going and learning the new computer system and getting to knowmy regional manager than listening to my own muse. i had no control over things around me forthat week so did not excercize my muse much. frankly i was blank for something to shot and uninspired that week and although gary had the concept i have yet to capture an idea for that presentation. i will not copy others people unless i see where it can be done better or i see a different side of it that they missed or int he case of krobra challenge. i still have not accomplished shockpics pics
i talked to eddie about running into janice this last week. i hope he did not take it i was looking down on her or a gossip cuz in some ways it was a bit mean. janice was this lady that at the beginning of class i did not like. she got on my nerves cuz she was always interrupting asking questions. whether anyone else got it or not she asked questions in someways we needed someone like her in class cuz he often taught above our head and i think gary mostly got him. thank goodness gary showed me later what eddie was getting t one the cameras. but janice never actually got alot of it. by the third class i befriended her though and found out i liked her she is true to herself and outspoken and one of those unique characters you met in your life that provides you with cute antidotes about the things they find to do, that keep life from getting boring. long sentence like she is. anyway while i was talking to janice the other day she pulled me aside and pointed at another woman walking down the hall to her class. she told me, that the first night of class thier class got no where cuz that woman kept stopping the instructor asking him questions and frustrated all of them. eddie laughed at that. he told me, yea i almost lost it a couple of times with her myself. he also asked me if i still had his email cuz if they ever do thier photoshoot safari, it would be cool for gary and me to go along. i felt honored cuz of of the two ed and eddie eddie was easier to read for me. eddie extended eds invite also. i got a rush out of it.
later when i talked to gary he rememberd parts of our conversation but i guess it did not interest him enough to ask me later about it
my day got better cuz one of my fav authors released a book and i am savoring geting to read it.
gary spent the day on the run. i wanted him to go to callies and celebrate his brithday with the kids but he kept finding things to keep from going there. i feel bad for suggesting it and of course i am the bad person cuz we never made it there and we ended up hurting callies feelings.
i knw callie is going thru a hard time and my heart goes out to her. but i can not rush in and fix it for her. years ago i rushed in and helped her leave kenny, this time i can not bring her back into my home as i did then. she now has two small children and gary does not want kids in the house. i love my grandchildren but i am not charitable t put my marriage on the lines for this and i like coming home to my own peace and quiet. sure i am missing alot of thier lives that could enrich my life, but at this time and for the rest of my life this is not a possibility.
i brought callie back into my house several times and it put mymarriage in jeapardy and the thing was she was an adult and needed to make it on her own all of those times. the last time we moved her ut of here tomy mothers. she made like hard for my mother who is a miser and resents anyone in her kingdom. but both of them were guilty in that story. callie took advantage of my mother and did not even try to get along with her. anyway eventually callie got kicked out of mothers cuz she was 4 or 5 months pregnant and we did not want y mom saddles with a baby in that house. i had already asked enough of my other allowing callie to come in. callie needed to ove on at that point and make the father of that baby responsible. knowing mike now it amazes me we accomplished this.
anyway callie was hurt we did not come by and i really did want to go by with a cake and balloons for the grandkids. gary told me that he was afraid that mike would pull something and after what happend on quantana beach and how mike is acting now days he no longer trusts him to behave. but woo is me, in this story i am the villan.
i know callie has had a rough year and i feel sorry for her, but she has done her own amount of hurting me back this year. she has deeply hurt me several times during her life and i thought she was over being that person, but she is not. she hurt me this year when she did not call me and wish me happy birthday. i wish she would just get the kid to draw a pciture but she can not do that much and althoug i raised her better than this one i have never reiced a grandparents day card from her and i have nevre recieved but one or two happy bosses day cards from my employees, which also hurts. but there i can see cuz i dont send ybosses those cards cuz i refuse tobe seen as a brown noser.
anyway enough about her. she is ina bad place and although i could do more it cost me too much. she needs to grow up and do something and she just does not.i think i am missing alot of truths out of thier story
anyway we ate our dinner on the beach last night. if anything can make up for mexican food being cold, it is eating it on the beach with the man you love. it was sweet and romantic of him. i am telling you he did a good job of avoiding going to callies. whether he would admit it or not.
we got home late and although
