the pickle is this strang eittle xmas ornamanet i bought last year on sale. it is not necessary pretty but it reminds me of the old show laugh in. in stead of the fickled finger of fate, this this the green pickle of fate. looks like mike is going to earn this one this year
it was a bad weekend, well saturday was. my grand idea lets go to sheris trailer out on the beach and have a family get togather. mostly i thought the kids would have fun. the parents have to come to shepard the kids.
mike quit his job. we knew it was coming and frankly the way they were treating him, i would have quit too. and i believe his ramblings on they were treating him like that. i been there and mine was called rcg. not that mike wanted to listen to me he clung to garys skirt tails and for the most part i was wrinkle in the sheet that could be ignored. mike decided along time ago that i hate him, and that is another of his justifications for being such a louse, i am a really hard hard bitch you know. i admit i dont like him, but i dont hate him either other than being the father of y grandkids i cant think of anything else he has done in his life that could impress me.
he seemed to be drunk within 5 minutes of being there. he walked up to me and complained i am drunk this happens when i mix drinks but i dont drink alot but boy i am drunk. in other words i am free now to make a fool of myself and ambled on on how bad i think i am. he cried that he was not worthy of callie and that he was wrong for quitting his job before he had another job. now mind you he had supposed tobe lookng for another job since feb but computer games are more fun than job hunting. he refused the transfer to kansas. well i am glad he did i dont want my family tomove and i certainly did not want callie tobe crying to come home a month later and we would have tofigure out how to get her but down here cuz she is home sick. also that was not right, the man just bought a house and company wants to tranfer him. rexes is not a great store and frankly unlike gary i dont know how long it will be around. they never impressed me. their prducts did not hold up as long. kind a like the walmmart of stores...just not as much stores or staff or procuts in thier stores.
on our way home he got mad at callie and jumped out the van as it was rolling and got lost in the swamp marshes of dow chemical. gary went and picked him up once dow found him and took hi home. callie has not told me much more than that they taked and he was humblized
i did want mike to wind down but i did not expect him to make a fool of himself.
lets see i knew it was a bad day when i was sitting by myself int he trailer and no one had remembered that the baby brandon was asleep and left unwatched int eh trailer. i used him as an excse to stay ther ena dnot have to venture down to the jetties in this heat. although seeing those crabs would hae been col to phototgraph.
sheri had already dissed me. she was mad at me cuz i told her about geff getting anew puppy and my cavilair attitude pissed her off. she would not even sit by me and she did not want to talk to me or listen to me. i tried to finsih my story but it was obvious she did not want to listen, so she embarrassed me in front of callie who was paying attention. at least callie was not taking sides or judgemental over it. but frankly as much as i liked sheri i am sick of her attitudes and just did nto enjoy it. she hurt my feelings on birthday on the way back from my birthday when i was shunned to the back sit with eric, so she could sit in the front seat to talk to her sister, cuz she could not go much longer without getting her sisters attention and having a civil conversation or what ever her attentions were. sure i should have ridden home with gary and if i could have i would have and left thier little family togather. instead of being an intrusion. i thought she wanted to spend time with me her best frined but she had had enoug of me. as usual i expect tomuch from her.
its not her fault that y familybehaved so badly.
gary infuriated me looking for mike. he yelled at brandon and was a reall asshole. i know that brandone is a bad kid and i dont like him either when he acts like he was. but poor maddie was sitting next to him with her little hands over her ears trying to hide while gary yelled over and over shut upto the child who was obviously not listening. that to tell you the truth was the low point of the night and i think i am so glad i was driving at that point cuz i could not have tolerated gary yelling at the boy and trying todrive the truck. we would have surely had a wreck.
it was a horrible weekend. and to tell the truth there had been that point in the trailer that i told myself drive off and leave these assholes along. but i was not feeling well about leaving brandon by himself and did not want to take him withme either
i did manage to do one thing for myslef that although it was not much i am glad i did it. i got to visit darlenes monument. it was torn down. idont know if hippy guy took it down cuz he was not getting any mileage from others off of it or some assholde descrated it for the fun of it. some of the shells were still there, the crab and cross were down and for some reason i thought someone tryied to burn it, although i did not see that. i left asingle black rose there for her. i felt sorry for her and although she would have disgused me in real life, in death i felt saddened for her life. i drove down the beach wondering if anyone back at sheries trailer would even miss me if i drove forever and when i came back the rose was at least still there and no one had stolen it yet for thier own collection. i dont know if it willbe left there, or kicked down and walked on or stolen for someone else purpose, but at least i put it there and that was something i wanted to do. it is funny to those closest to me no one had realized how touched i had been by that monument. no one cared enough to listen. the sherbos were more into thier precious being lost with me to care anthing more. the sherbos are really really into themselves
my should hurt realy bad yeseterday. i felt like crying at points but why i wanted to cry was there was no one that cared. gary was eat up with his hang over and his back ache and all his issues. but i was ok with him until he started yelling at me i was going to sale the camaro for 500 dollars cuz we needed to get it out of the drive way. another reason he let me down. i wish he had helped keep her up. you see i get punished around here cuz they think i am lazy. forget the fact i may make the money to pay for the bills for the toys. forget the little things i do like made dinner yesterday and saturday night when we were hungry cuz no one ate well at sheris. sure i was stupid saturday morning while i was running the roads to get my mom taking care of and picking up my little magic pills to expect gary would cook us breakfast cuz no he ws too busy rolling and seeding and loading his truck for thei trip to sheris
this was my weekend but nothing about it was for me. my money is expected to pay for other things. as i went to bed last night he fussed abotu me making the arrangmeents for hotles for our trip. i worked really hard for that money and now i have topay for the whole trip i am going to sit in meetings while he gets to run the roads and this stuff is suposd to come out of my pocket. it would not have been so bad if i was not wanting the lens and if he had not bought himself a the tool box. and he already has his windows tinted and he moves forward. he bought himself toys liek flashlights and knives and thinks i am blowing too much money on clothes or no i can wait cuz we need moeny for the vacation
last year when he worked hard and got all that moeny from dave he ran out and bought hismelf 2000 worth of camera and equipment. he would never do that for me. he once again made this promise i would get the upgraded camera and he would take the other one. well when it happened he got the upgraded camera. actually tht did not matter expept i remember years ago promising me if he won a vehicle i would drive the vehicle since i drove further and took care of thekids and he kept the vehicle. selfish of me but ... dont make promises
although i think mike deserves the pickle for his antics i feel soured by everyone around me. yesterday i should have gone out and done something to lift my attitude but my shoulder hurt so bad that i ended up being buzzed by the pain management. today the shoulder feels lumpy but does not hurt like it was yesterday. i am not scheduling rooms until he puts some money forward to the trip too. its been ahile since he did something nice like brought me flowers and i would not have even got a card from the ass if i had not pushed for that. zz top was not my venue, it was for bo if anyone. sure i had fun...
well off to another hard work at week. i am pressured and need to get alot done and having ahrd time doing it. i cant trust those i delegate to to do things right. see i knowmy problems are that
moms legs look horrible and if there was a reason to kill myself she is it. i hate taking care of her i hate being respobsible for her. i dont feel like anyone has ever been there to take care of me althought gary loves me he does not take care of me and i dont feel like taking care of anyone else. but hell gary is wanting me to take care of him he was jealouslof me taking care of the kids when they were little instead of him and now he does not expect it and he does not thin he owes me any cuddling or taking care of. well i am in a pckle do a mood this week and the problem is i need to just get off my ass and go forward into this week
ta ta for now
